There are a lot of things in life nobody teaches us how to deal with. In school we are taught how to do the technical stuff, but nobody teaches you things about relationships, like how to be a husband or a wife, a friend, or how to be a parent. There are no lessons on how to cope with our super-mega busy life, what to do when you are sad, mad or why talking about your situation can actually help you overcome it.
I mean unless you are majoring in psychology, you are kind learning those things on your own, at your own pace.
Some of us learn some of that stuff by making mistakes. But sometimes we don’t learn the lesson at all. We keep making the same mistakes over and over again. We get stuck. So we look for external help. We go to therapy.
We don’t go to therapy to prevent anything. We go when the house is on fire, when we can’t take it anymore, when we are not only screaming for help, but we are trapped and stuck. Choosing a therapist in this state of mind is not the the best thing. We are in a chaotic state of mind and our decisions are not connected with our true self. So the therapist we pick may not be the best one for us. It’s a little bit like going shopping when you are drunk. I know for me I choose the wrong therapist over and over again and end up wasting time by working on issues that were not crucial for my recovery.
I have many beliefs about therapy and they contradict each other. Because of my experience with therapy I don’t recommend it. But at the same time I believe that there is great help out there and the psychology world has a variety of therapists that are not only specialized in traditional psychology but are also part of the holistic world, and that to me can be of tremendous help.
When going for therapy, I suggest you ask around about therapists. Word of mouth is the best guide. If you are a bit too shy to ask your friends and family for any suggestions you can go online and read the reviews and choose somebody that is specialized in the particular issue that you are dealing with.
You don’t have to pick somebody that is in your city or in your state. Take advantage of technology and find the perfect therapist across the globe. If you can make a decision on who to pick, I suggest you call your top three, spend 10-15 minutes feeling their vibe, take notes. I would be direct and ask them how they have helped with eating disorders, how much experience they have on the subject and how they have helped others suffering from E.D.
If you find somebody that sounds good on the internet and on the phone, congratulations and don’t stop here. The first consultation can also tell you a lot. it’s a little bit like a first date. Don’t just let the therapist ask all the questions. Bring your questions, and precise issues that you want to work on. If you are honest and direct, you can make the therapist’s work easier.
Therapy has to feel good in the heart, it has to be healing and needs to make you feel movement toward feeling better.
Do you find this helpful? Please leave a comment. I would love the opportunity to hear about your experience with therapy. Do you want me to write more about therapy? What are your struggling with? Let me help you!❤